Where, O Death, Is Your Sting?
"My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly God's grace for you. Stand firm in this grace." 1 Peter 5:12 NLT
We've had our share of funerals over the last year and a half.
We lost three grandparents, an uncle, an aunt, a friend and then there was me.
We almost lost me. Or maybe I was almost found in heaven.
When you come closer to death than you've ever come, it changes you.
It makes you realize a few things.
My hope is not in this world and it hasn't been since I was 18 years old, the day I died to me and came alive to Christ.
Sometimes it's only when you taste death, that you know life, the assurance of it.
This weekend we celebrated life.
The life of our sixth child, his first birthday. We threw a big party and rejoiced that God has once again blessed our lives with a precious life to steward and love.
It is in bringing forth this life that I almost lost mine one year ago.
But isn't that how it always is?
Isn't it Life that swallows up death?
You see, Jesus said we have to be willing to die to truly gain life.
When we grasp and clutch tightly to the things of this world, we lose it all and our lives as well.
But when we willingly lay it down, we gain it all, and LIFE eternal in Christ.
We will never know life until we taste death.
When the doctor leaned in close, speaking loudly to make me hear,
Hear over the blood loss and darkness that was closing in, waves of black rolling,
he said, "I don't know if we can stop the bleeding. We're taking you in to surgery. I don't know if it will be a D and C, a hysterectomy, or.... Can you hear me ? Shake your head. Do you understand what I am saying?"
Yes, I understood.
Or....death?
As they put the mask on, gas to make me sleep the sleep of the broken waiting to be healed, I prayed.
Is this it?
The end?
I waited for the fear. Where was the fear? What was I supposed to feel at this moment?
And then I knew what it was I was feeling.
Strangely giddy.
Could I really be going to see Him face to face?
Could this really be the day that my faith becomes sight?
Just...peace.
Peace, and a strange excitement that maybe, just maybe, my race was over.
To live is Christ, to die is gain.
But then I remembered, six children. A new baby I have barely held.
And the words come, "Lord, for the sake of these six children. Let me live."
My dutiful words spoken, I wait for the answer. Darkness comes.
And then the waking.
I wake to the brightness of lights in a hospital recovery room, and I know His decision.
To live is Christ.
More time to serve Him here, to raise and disciple these six. To proclaim Him Lord on this earth.
Because when your hope is in heaven,
when your death has already been swallowed up in life,
you have no fear.
Where, O death, is your sting?
Indeed it has been swallowed up in victory, the victory that overcomes the earth.
And I am thankful. He is the Lord.
And even in this moment,
it is all grace.
We've had our share of funerals over the last year and a half.
We lost three grandparents, an uncle, an aunt, a friend and then there was me.
We almost lost me. Or maybe I was almost found in heaven.
When you come closer to death than you've ever come, it changes you.
It makes you realize a few things.
My hope is not in this world and it hasn't been since I was 18 years old, the day I died to me and came alive to Christ.
Sometimes it's only when you taste death, that you know life, the assurance of it.
This weekend we celebrated life.
The life of our sixth child, his first birthday. We threw a big party and rejoiced that God has once again blessed our lives with a precious life to steward and love.
It is in bringing forth this life that I almost lost mine one year ago.
But isn't that how it always is?
Isn't it Life that swallows up death?
You see, Jesus said we have to be willing to die to truly gain life.
When we grasp and clutch tightly to the things of this world, we lose it all and our lives as well.
But when we willingly lay it down, we gain it all, and LIFE eternal in Christ.
We will never know life until we taste death.
When the doctor leaned in close, speaking loudly to make me hear,
Hear over the blood loss and darkness that was closing in, waves of black rolling,
he said, "I don't know if we can stop the bleeding. We're taking you in to surgery. I don't know if it will be a D and C, a hysterectomy, or.... Can you hear me ? Shake your head. Do you understand what I am saying?"
Yes, I understood.
Or....death?
As they put the mask on, gas to make me sleep the sleep of the broken waiting to be healed, I prayed.
Is this it?
The end?
I waited for the fear. Where was the fear? What was I supposed to feel at this moment?
And then I knew what it was I was feeling.
Strangely giddy.
Could I really be going to see Him face to face?
Could this really be the day that my faith becomes sight?
Just...peace.
Peace, and a strange excitement that maybe, just maybe, my race was over.
To live is Christ, to die is gain.
But then I remembered, six children. A new baby I have barely held.
And the words come, "Lord, for the sake of these six children. Let me live."
My dutiful words spoken, I wait for the answer. Darkness comes.
And then the waking.
I wake to the brightness of lights in a hospital recovery room, and I know His decision.
To live is Christ.
More time to serve Him here, to raise and disciple these six. To proclaim Him Lord on this earth.
Because when your hope is in heaven,
when your death has already been swallowed up in life,
you have no fear.
Where, O death, is your sting?
Indeed it has been swallowed up in victory, the victory that overcomes the earth.
And I am thankful. He is the Lord.
And even in this moment,
it is all grace.
There is no sting there is no real death, but only more life in death. His grace is enough.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Thank you for sharing.
May we all walk in the truth that our death IS behind us! All is grace and truth after that, all is Christ ALL is life! Thanks T.
ReplyDelete