When Scars Boast Beauty
I have scars.
Ugly stretch mark scars that criss- cross my belly like burrowing worms.
An uglier, lower line where a baby was ripped from my abdomen.
A scar above my left eye where I hit a chair with my face.
A wrinkled patch on my knee from a scooter accident as a kid.
But it's the internal scars that I have obtained with the most pain.
I never liked scars, I wanted flawless.
I never wanted pain, I wanted poise.
I wanted it to be easy.
That's it really. My biggest problem in life is that I want it to be easy.
Not just easy, comfortable.
And not just comfortable but fulfilling my greatest dreams.
I want to have my best life now.
I want it now.
Isn't that what my tots say every day? They want it now. They want the stuff that will satisfy for the moment.
Fill the belly that will hunger again and again.
Drink the water that will quench only for the moment.
But the thirsting never ends, and the hunger never subsides and they need more and more and more....
I think of the meals I cook, the daily grinding of cooking and cleaning up three meals a day and then snacks and it seems to never end, this asking for more.
But am I any different?
I say I want this Full Life, this overflowing life, this life that is abundant but too often it slips through my fingers like water flowing ever downward.
And I think, I could be patient if only....
I could be really loving if only....
I could be really joyful if only....
I think that if only I lived in a world where my best life was now, then I would be living it Full.
If only I had
a job that wasn't so stressful,
kids that weren't so rebellious,
a marriage that didn't require sacrifice,
a body without chronic pain,
people that were easy to get along with,
THEN I would be able to live it FULL.
But what if this brokenness is the place where we are finally emptied enough to become Full?
Because you can't be filled, without being emptied.
What if this place of suffering, is the place where you really come to be filled?
How long have I believed that this witness to the world was in my apparent success, when all along my witness to this world has been in suffering with Fullness.
I thought that if only I looked successful, looked like what the world idolizes, maybe notoriety, maybe career success, maybe happy family, maybe tidy house,
if I only looked like success then they would see His grace...
But He says that His grace is only made perfect in our weakness.
In our weakness.
Weakness?
Not success?
I have tried too hard to look good, to be a good witness, to show His greatness through my goodness,
But He says His greatness is only ever displayed in my absolute brokenness.
Paul knew this.
Paul said, "As for me, may I never boast about anything expect the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world's interest in me has also died. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. ... For I bear on my body the scars that show that I belong to Jesus." Galatians 6:14,15,17
Scars?
Do we want to glorify Him enough to wear the scars?
The scars that show that we belong to Him. The scars that show that we don't belong to this world.
No apparent success, just scars.
And let me tell you, scars aren't pretty.
And the don't come easy.
If fact, they come with pain.
Lots of pain.
But The Healer who took those wounds, touched them and made them whole,
He wears scars.
He wears scars.
Do we really want to be like him?
Or do we want our best life NOW?
His glory is only ever in our weakness, His greatness displayed in our need and trouble.
For it is only when we are fully emptied, that we finally become fully Full.
Fully Full with Him, with the weight of His glory, and not ours.
This world, it isn't interested in me.
I don't look like I'm living my best life now.
That's because my best life is still to come.
This Fullness is found only in complete dependence upon the One with the scars that Heal the nations.
When we know it doesn't come from us, from our strength, from our abilities.
When our boasting is only in the Cross.
And we wear the scars to show that we have become completely His.
Ugly stretch mark scars that criss- cross my belly like burrowing worms.
An uglier, lower line where a baby was ripped from my abdomen.
A scar above my left eye where I hit a chair with my face.
A wrinkled patch on my knee from a scooter accident as a kid.
But it's the internal scars that I have obtained with the most pain.
I never liked scars, I wanted flawless.
I never wanted pain, I wanted poise.
I wanted it to be easy.
That's it really. My biggest problem in life is that I want it to be easy.
Not just easy, comfortable.
And not just comfortable but fulfilling my greatest dreams.
I want to have my best life now.
I want it now.
Isn't that what my tots say every day? They want it now. They want the stuff that will satisfy for the moment.
Fill the belly that will hunger again and again.
Drink the water that will quench only for the moment.
But the thirsting never ends, and the hunger never subsides and they need more and more and more....
I think of the meals I cook, the daily grinding of cooking and cleaning up three meals a day and then snacks and it seems to never end, this asking for more.
But am I any different?
I say I want this Full Life, this overflowing life, this life that is abundant but too often it slips through my fingers like water flowing ever downward.
And I think, I could be patient if only....
I could be really loving if only....
I could be really joyful if only....
I think that if only I lived in a world where my best life was now, then I would be living it Full.
If only I had
a job that wasn't so stressful,
kids that weren't so rebellious,
a marriage that didn't require sacrifice,
a body without chronic pain,
people that were easy to get along with,
THEN I would be able to live it FULL.
But what if this brokenness is the place where we are finally emptied enough to become Full?
Because you can't be filled, without being emptied.
What if this place of suffering, is the place where you really come to be filled?
How long have I believed that this witness to the world was in my apparent success, when all along my witness to this world has been in suffering with Fullness.
I thought that if only I looked successful, looked like what the world idolizes, maybe notoriety, maybe career success, maybe happy family, maybe tidy house,
if I only looked like success then they would see His grace...
But He says that His grace is only made perfect in our weakness.
In our weakness.
Weakness?
Not success?
I have tried too hard to look good, to be a good witness, to show His greatness through my goodness,
But He says His greatness is only ever displayed in my absolute brokenness.
Paul knew this.
Paul said, "As for me, may I never boast about anything expect the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world's interest in me has also died. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. ... For I bear on my body the scars that show that I belong to Jesus." Galatians 6:14,15,17
Scars?
Do we want to glorify Him enough to wear the scars?
The scars that show that we belong to Him. The scars that show that we don't belong to this world.
No apparent success, just scars.
And let me tell you, scars aren't pretty.
And the don't come easy.
If fact, they come with pain.
Lots of pain.
But The Healer who took those wounds, touched them and made them whole,
He wears scars.
He wears scars.
Do we really want to be like him?
Or do we want our best life NOW?
His glory is only ever in our weakness, His greatness displayed in our need and trouble.
For it is only when we are fully emptied, that we finally become fully Full.
Fully Full with Him, with the weight of His glory, and not ours.
This world, it isn't interested in me.
I don't look like I'm living my best life now.
That's because my best life is still to come.
This Fullness is found only in complete dependence upon the One with the scars that Heal the nations.
When we know it doesn't come from us, from our strength, from our abilities.
When our boasting is only in the Cross.
And we wear the scars to show that we have become completely His.
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