Dangerous
He said he tried to take his own life.
He is only 11.
11.
And the kids on the bus, they said, "Good, I wish you would."
He gets beat up there on that bus.
He has pain that is plain to see.
Some use it to try to destroy him.
He lives down the street from me.
From me.
And the girl down the street tells us the story of how is was that day on the bus.
And I ask, "What did you do? What did anyone do?"
Where was the rescue?
And she tells us, "Nothing. I was afraid. Afraid of what they would do to me."
I know. This world is a dangerous place.
And I say to my home schooled kids, "What if you had been there? What would you have done?"
They don't know.
Because sometimes darkness takes you by surprise.
When you're feeling safe and comfortable, it slinks, and pounces, overtaking you in an instant.
And how do you fight what you're unprepared for?
But me, I remember what it is like to want to die. To walk in the dark everyday.
To try to die by starving myself into eternity, purging the rotted, to cleanse a soul that wouldn't come clean.
To be the girl who missed out on six weeks of senior year to "go away" to a place they send you when you just can't seem to find your way in all this darkness.
But then there was Light.
And the washing with Living Water, that Holy Blood, that washes white as snow.
And suddenly my soul came clean in the Water of His Word, One Holy life given for mine.
And the Light, it is dazzling.
And all these years later it is easy to forget what is like to walk in all that darkness.
But if we who carry the Light, hide it, then how deep is that darkness?
How will they ever see Light?
Sometimes bearing the torch is dangerous.
And then I remember another night of darkness. Another boy, razor blade to wrist, blood running down.
In that dorm room I wrestled with razor blades, crying out for him to live.
A boy I hardly knew.
Because if we who carry the Light sit still, how will they live?
Sometimes living in the Light is Dangerous.
And dangerous is exactly the place of greatest safety.
Because if your death has already been swallowed up in His Life, what is there to fear?
It's no mistake that this boy of 11 lives down my street.
Because just maybe it's time for the dawn.
He is only 11.
11.
And the kids on the bus, they said, "Good, I wish you would."
He gets beat up there on that bus.
He has pain that is plain to see.
Some use it to try to destroy him.
He lives down the street from me.
From me.
And the girl down the street tells us the story of how is was that day on the bus.
And I ask, "What did you do? What did anyone do?"
Where was the rescue?
And she tells us, "Nothing. I was afraid. Afraid of what they would do to me."
I know. This world is a dangerous place.
And I say to my home schooled kids, "What if you had been there? What would you have done?"
They don't know.
Because sometimes darkness takes you by surprise.
When you're feeling safe and comfortable, it slinks, and pounces, overtaking you in an instant.
And how do you fight what you're unprepared for?
But me, I remember what it is like to want to die. To walk in the dark everyday.
To try to die by starving myself into eternity, purging the rotted, to cleanse a soul that wouldn't come clean.
To be the girl who missed out on six weeks of senior year to "go away" to a place they send you when you just can't seem to find your way in all this darkness.
But then there was Light.
And the washing with Living Water, that Holy Blood, that washes white as snow.
And suddenly my soul came clean in the Water of His Word, One Holy life given for mine.
And the Light, it is dazzling.
And all these years later it is easy to forget what is like to walk in all that darkness.
But if we who carry the Light, hide it, then how deep is that darkness?
How will they ever see Light?
Sometimes bearing the torch is dangerous.
And then I remember another night of darkness. Another boy, razor blade to wrist, blood running down.
In that dorm room I wrestled with razor blades, crying out for him to live.
A boy I hardly knew.
Because if we who carry the Light sit still, how will they live?
Sometimes living in the Light is Dangerous.
And dangerous is exactly the place of greatest safety.
Because if your death has already been swallowed up in His Life, what is there to fear?
It's no mistake that this boy of 11 lives down my street.
Because just maybe it's time for the dawn.
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