Joy For All the Weary Mommas (and Everyone Worn)

The path around the lake was a thing of beauty, blue sky blazing overhead in the crisp fall air.

And I almost missed this.

 

In fact I have missed this over and over again for so many years. But not this time.

The kids and I walk, hunters of beauty birthing, curious wanderings. We handle our field guides and nature notebooks like the novices we are but this glory can’t be missed even by the most ineffectual of us. 

“Look! Look! A tree frog!”

In Ohio, this is not a common sight and we stare in wonder.

“Look at that caterpillar! It’s all white and fuzzy!”

“Let’s identify that tree over there,” I say.

 

We walk, drinking in the splendor and I think, when was it that I had stopped believing this was possible?

Faith is always the first step to joy.

And it has been my doubt, my worries that have kept me wearied and burdened for far too long.

“Can your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27

“And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and are thrown in the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.  Why do you have so little faith?

So don’t worry about these things, saying, “What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers but your Heavenly Father already knows your needs.  Seek first the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously and he will give you everything you need.” Matt 6:31-33

I have lived the unbelief.  And I have lost moments of surrendered joy.

Motherhood has been a place for me where the cares of life, the responsibilities of raising and homeschooling seven children have crowded out my faith.

I have let the weight of those responsibilities consume me. 

My first two kids were born eighteen months apart.  In those first years of babies and toddlers  I desperately struggled with how to just have a quiet time with God each day. I felt that I didn’t have time for that.  I couldn’t possibly take the time to sit in God’s presence, to read His Word, to pray except to throw up a plea of desperation. 

Until I realized that I wasn’t getting things done better, faster, or with any joy at all by missing my quiet time.  I was only becoming bitter, burdened and weary beyond words.

And so I took a step of faith toward God.

Faith to believe that if I chose to seek God first, to seek His Kingdom above my to do list, that he would help me accomplish what needed to be done.

I made this progress slowly.  It didn’t mean that I always got everything done on my list, but that when I put God first I was able to let go of what was not as important and get done what was important but this time, with joy.

And I am still growing in this. 

I have missed so many moments of joy because I didn’t trust God to be sufficient where I lacked.  I felt I had to just work harder, better, longer and this would solve my problems.  I was trusting in myself and my hard work instead of in God and his all sufficient strength.

One thing that I always wanted to do in our homeschool was make nature study a regular priority, but it seemed frivolous and really I couldn’t take the time to do something I might actually enjoy, right? I mean, I have laundry and dishes and soccer practices to drive to.  I have kids to teach, and library books to return, and dance shoes to find. I have dust bunnies and weedy flower beds, dinners to cook and a baby to nurse every hour and a half and how could I possibly?

But God has challenged me to trust Him with my homeschooling, to believe that He is enough.  To believe that I can rest in His grace and that He will strengthen me to accomplish what He desires for us. He is helping me to obey those promptings of the Holy Spirit to stop and enjoy an afternoon in sun dappled glory with these beautiful kids, and trust that He has our to do list well in hand. 

And the craziest thing of all is that these last few months with now seven kids in the mix, our days have been the best, most productive they have ever been and the most joyful.  Sure we are busier than ever and yes our days are gracefully disciplined, but God is making what had been impossible for us, possible. He gives peace even in the midst of the chaotic storm of this seven kid life. God makes possible what is impossible in our own strength when we trust Him.   

And standing under this blaze of blue, I can feel all this joy rising on wings of faith.

 

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One of the ways the Holy Spirit has been prompting me to take a step of obedience in faith and seek first the Kingdom, is in being more intentional to share my faith journey through this blog.

What about you? How is the Holy Spirit prompting you to seek first the Kingdom of God?  Is there an area of your life where He is speaking to you to let go and trust Him more?