Because Discipleship Means Dying and Grace Is Giving

Our neighbors are moving.  And yesterday we said goodbye to the first friends we had made when we moved here.  They are not moving far but it will be harder to have play dates and for the kids to see each other.  We are sad to see them go.  We said goodbye with some tears.  Later in the day, the doorbell rings.  It is the neighbor girl bringing us a card. 

Joy.  Just joy. 

I think of all the neighborhood kids we have brought to church. 

I think of all the kids we have prayed for and had over for Backyard Bible Clubs and the endless hours of our yard filled to overflowing with kids by the dozen. 

And I am undone by grace.

Because this was not my plan.

Oh, I have spent years trying to protect my kids from the “world”, to keep them “safe”, to make sure they were doing the “right” things. 

I endlessly questioned if they should even play with kids in the neighborhood and what about the bad influences and what does it mean to be a good Christian parent anyway?

I wanted to move to the country.  I wanted to escape from the teenagers that sell drugs on the corner.  I wanted to escape from the bullying kid who is desperately broken and the needy kid who practically lived here for the last year, and kids who steal from us and lie to us and hurt us.  And escape from the fact that these kids nearly blow up our doorbell every single day.  And escape from the drama and the danger and the difficult.  And I am so ashamed to tell you that.

But God, in his grace, didn’t let me run.  And I am oh, so very thankful for His grace.

Because I am seeing clearer than ever what this thing of discipleship is really about.

What Christian parenting is really about.

It is about giving ourselves away for Jesus and the gospel.  And if we really want to make disciples of these children that have been entrusted to us, then we have to willing to let go of them also for Jesus and the gospel.

We lay our lives down daily and teach them to do the same.

We go to the places that are maybe not so “safe” and teach them what it means to walk by faith.

We have to show them what it means to love our enemies and give them opportunities to love theirs.

We have to show them what it means to lay aside our plans, our time, our money, to serve the least and love the lost.

And we have to actually do it.  Every. Day.

You can’t hold on to safe and follow Jesus. 

You have to be willing to die. 

And Jesus said this.  And this is where it gets hard.  Because what I want most is to make this life that I have been given, about multiplying God's grace.

But there is only one way to multiply grace, and that is to risk death. Death of ourselves, our selfishness, our money, our time. 

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am my servant also will be." John 12:24-26.

Jesus tells this story where a man is going on a long trip and he called together three servants and gave each some money.  To one he gave five bags of silver, to one two bags, and to another one bag. 

The man with five bags invested it and earned five more.

The man with two bags invested it and earned two more.

But the man with only one bag hid it in the ground to keep it safe.

Jesus commended the two men who invested the money and earned more.  “You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you more responsibilities.”

But the man who had received the one bag said to his master, "So I was afraid and I went out and hid your money in the ground.  See here is what belongs to you." He wanted to keep it safe for the master.  But this was not what the master wanted.  He wanted multiplication.  He wanted fruitfulness. 

And the master ordered that the little that had been given to that servant be taken away and the servant punished and thrown in the outer darkness.  (Story taken from Matthew 25)

If we want to multiply, we have to risk.  If we want to be faithful, we can’t choose safe.  We can’t cower to fear. 

And even when it comes to our children, we must be willing to follow Jesus where He leads us, even when it doesn’t seem safe.  Our children have been entrusted to us by God for us to serve them, love them and make disciples of them.  We can’t hide them in the ground and keep them “safe”.  We have to be willing to multiply their lives also for the gospel.  To show them what it means to lay down their lives to follow Him. 

This will probably look different for each of us.  I’m not saying that God might not be calling you to move to the country or even that someday he might call us to do that. I'm not saying that we shouldn't try to protect our kids, because that is part of good parenting. But we can't be salt and light to a dark world if we hide from it.  We can't love the lost if we don't even know who they are.

Maybe this means filling your yard so full of kids that you can't grow grass because it just gets trampled by herds and herds of kids.  Maybe this means sacrificing your time to be outside with the neighborhood kids who are needy and lost, (you need to know what is happening out there and if you don't even know the lost, you can't love them). Maybe this means filling up your van with kids to bring to church and investing in their lives to show them why they would want to go there. Maybe this means making your house the most loving place on your block, whatever the cost.

When keeping our kids safe becomes the goal instead of following Jesus, then it is idolatry.  When we choose hiding and protection instead of faith and the freedom that comes from obedience to Christ,  then it is sin. For me, I am seeing clearer how to let go of my kids and trust God with them.  I am learning to allow God to use my life and their lives to make the gospel of His grace known, even when it feels risky. 

And I am seeing His grace, blooming.