The Discipline of Grace

So the kid down the street, the teenager we bring to church, he punches my son in the face….again.

And this kid with no mother, and hardly a father, this kid who gets suspended from school at the drop of a hat because he….well, he punches everyone in the face who gets in his way, and how do you keep reaching the lost and the broken when they beat you up over and over again?

This dilemma is not new.

This is the struggle of every person who has ever set out to love lost and broken people in Jesus' name.

Sometimes you get your nose bloodied.

Sometimes you get wounded, because hurting people will hurt you.  It is not a matter of maybe.  It is only a matter of when and how. 

It doesn’t mean that it is not hard.  Oh, yes it will be hard to love unlovely people.  It will be painful.  It will cost you something.  It will be ugly at times.  You will wonder if it is worth it.  You will want to quit. You will want to run. 

And it will make you fall down on your knees and get desperate for Jesus in a way that you haven’t known because here is something you should know.

You can’t love people without God’s help. At least you can’t love them in a sacrificial, lay down your life for them, Jesus kind of way, without the love of Jesus doing it.  You need Him to do this.  You need His love in you, through you.  And you need to remember that He loved you, when you were less than loveable.

We love because He first loved us.

He loved us first and He pursued us first when we were rebels, proud, self-righteous, Pharisees, selfish, and every form of ugly.  And yet he pursued us, wooed us, loved us.  Laid down His life for us.

And Jesus tells us to count the cost of following Him, because it will cost you.  It will cost you time, money, dreams, it will cost you your very life. 

And there are times that discipline is needed.

Times when it is appropriate to set boundaries, to say no, it is appropriate to not make yourself a punching bag.  But the temptation is to throw in the towel and say I’m done with this, this person is too hard to deal with, too broken, too ugly.  And just walk away, sever the relationship and quit.

And really, this is a struggle I have known.

So, we wrangle the idea of how to discipline a kid that isn’t even ours but who desperately needs someone to discipline in love and show him that even discipline is grace.

God, in His father love disciplines us for our good, because He loves us.  God wants us to become all that He created us to be, all that is possible and breaking free of flesh and sin requires discipline at times.  Thankfully, God is a perfect father and His discipline to us is always in love, always for our good, always working to make us more like Jesus.

Believe it or not, this is grace.  This is grace that we don’t deserve.   Because we don’t deserve discipline, we deserve punishment, we don’t deserve a second chance, we deserve hell and yet He continues working on us, perfecting us even when it feels painful.  And yes, discipline can be painful.

And God disciplines us to protect us, sometimes from ourselves.  Because we can be the most destructive people to us.

I tell the teenage kid that we will still take him to church this week but he has to ride up front with me from now on. 

And as we ride, he starts talking about God.

He asks about Jesus and how we know he is coming back and how you can know for sure when you die that you are going to go to heaven.

And I tell him the good news, the gospel news.  That all of us sinners, we don’t get there because we are so good, but because Jesus is so good.  We don’t get there by doing stuff for God, but by trusting that He already did it all for us on the cross to pay the price we couldn’t pay.  But, I say, this decision to follow Jesus, it means making Him your Lord, your boss, saying that you want to live for him and do what he wants you to instead of what you want to, it is a free gift but means giving Him everything.  But what is our everything compared to abundant life now and life eternal, is it really such a sacrifice?

The kid listens.  We talk. 

And I think, this is what I could have missed by quitting on this kid, by reacting instead of reaching, by punishing instead of disciplining by running away from difficulties instead of seeing them as opportunities to tell the story of God’s grace. 

Listen, ministry is messy.  It will not be tidy and easy.  You will have to pursue God hard in order to know how to handle the struggles, but the gospel is worth it.  Jesus is worth it.  It doesn’t mean that we always get the results we expect, or that we always see people change on our time table or even see them change at all.  But ultimately we remember that we aren’t loving difficult people because they deserve it, we are loving them because Jesus deserves it.  We aren’t reaching out because they are so worthy of love, because none of us is worthy of grace, but we reach out because Jesus is the ultimate treasure of greatest worth.  

So, we discipline in grace, to restore people to a right relationship with God and others.  But we keep loving, reaching, hoping for rescue and restoration.   Sometimes, discipline is just the act of grace that we need to heal our hearts.   So, draw near to Jesus, let Him lead you, help you, fill you with the love and grace and wisdom to pour out on a broken world and watch what He will do.